Looking Back, While Moving Forward

I remember my parents and other adults saying "the only thing constant is change." As a child I didn't quite understand what that meant but as an adult and now as a parent of two children I'm reminded of this on a daily basis.

Two years ago today I was pregnant with our daughter and in the ICU with my husband and his family, standing by my father-in-law's bedside praying for him to recover. He passed away that afternoon. One week later to the day I gave birth to our daughter. We were so hapy to have a healthy baby girl but so sad that she would never get to meet her Papa and he'd never be able to hold her.

And then a year ago today we rushed to the ER with our little girl. She'd been sick for 3-4 days and wasn't improving but getting worse. After learning she had bacterial meningitis and the most dangerous strain we were in shock. We were standing in the same hospital where we'd lost my father-in-law, just one year later and the thought of losing our first and only child on that day in that place was unbearable.

Shortly after learning MC's diagnosis we were transferred via ambulance to Texas Children's Hospital. I'd never been in an ambulance before and hope I'll never have to ride in one again. I was lying on the bed with MC on my chest, wrapped in several blankets to keep her warm with an IV in her arm. She was lifeless as we weaved in and out of traffic racing to the hospital.

We spent a week in the hospital with our little girl. And I know we were lucky, I know we were blessed and I feel like we received a miracle. As far as we know she has fully recovered without any damage from her illness.

While we were in the hospital MC had her first taste of McDonald's and celebrated her first birthday and now we're just one week away from her second birthday. It seems like a lifetime ago not just a year.

The loss of my mom and father-in-law mean we must tell our children stories of their grandparents, show them pictures and tell them of their love. And from our experience with MC's short hospital visit, when we say our prayers we pray for the children that can't be healed, for the kids that live in the hospital most of the year battling cancer and other diseases, for their parents experiencing the helpless feeling that we felt firsthand. And we remind ourselves not to take time with our kids for granted. Those are just a few of the things that have changed for us the last two years.

I hug my kids and tell them how much I love them several times a day. If you haven't experienced a severe illness with your child, think of those that ahve and remember them n your prayers at night.