Thursday, February 18, 2010

Wrinkles....where did you come from?

Alright, so yes we all have wrinkles, even babies have wrinkles. But when you're older and have earned your wrinkles its different. And when did I become vain? And when did the wrinkles move in? What did I do to earn them? When will they leave?

I was at the mall on Wednesday with a girlfriend and her little girl. We stopped by the Origins counter so I could get a color match and buy some new foundation. The male consultant was very knowledgeable and I was feeling good about making a change....until...I looked into his little mirror and saw groves of lines under my eyes and throughout the rest of my face.

So why is it when you try on lingerie, dresses, jeans, etc. those mirrors and lights at the mall seem to make you look and feel better? And then you get home and put on the same item and begin to see the flaws. But here in this guy's small mirror were wrinkles looking back at me and seeming to grow as I watched.

Now yes, I used to work long 12 hour sometimes longer days with travel etc. And yes, now I'm a mom that's experienced a new level of sleep deprivation that you can only understand after having firsthand experience, so maybe these wrinkles were earned. But why couldn't I earn a bonus or company watch or vacation instead?

Thursday, February 11, 2010

When You Know You're A Mom

I went through the 9-10 months of pregnancy with multiple symptoms, most of them not enjoyable. And then I went through the life altering experience of labor but with painkillers. I nursed my baby and held her while she slept but yet I still didn't feel like a mom.

At 2-3 months we took MC to a surgeon for a consult on her bellybutton. As I was completing the paperwork it had a spot for relation to patient....and of course I wrote "mother." Then I turned to my husband, while looking down at MC sound asleep in her carrier, and asked him "we're really parents, is it me or does it seem like a dream?" This continues through the nights of sleep deprivation, the spit up, the diaper changes, etc. and then one day it hit me....

You know you're a mom when.... you reach into your pocket for change at Starbucks and find a pacifier instead don't even what to know what that brown stain on your jeans is or where it came from you just want to change clothes

...the diaper bag is your new must have accessory and you'll forget the cell phone before leaving the diaper bag behind

...when you're out at a bar, etc. and see a very young person acting stupid you don't think, I really miss those days, you wonder where her parents think she is and if you should give her some advice never use the rear view mirror to check your make-up anymore but to double check that your child is securely strapped into her seat and riding comfortably no longer choose gyms based on the hot trainers and clients but the safety and proximity of the childcare area

...alone time has nothing to do with a spa day but more about using the bathroom without an onlooker

...choosing a mall to go shopping has less to do with the stores and more to do with how accessible it is for strollers

...sleeping in means you slept a little later today than yesterday

...your magazine subscriptions to Redbook, Cosmo and Shape have been replaced by American Baby, Parents, and Parenting networking has left the bar scene and been replaced by your membership to a Mommy & Me group

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

I'm Alive!

I'm alive! I don't necessarily feel like screaming it from a rooftop but I am breathing. And for the first time in weeks I can eat a few more things other than mashed potatoes and soup. Yeah!

I'm still weak and naueseous but I can actually get out of bed and leave the house for small trips without being sick. So here's to hoping this is the beginning of the return to the normal me and I'm back to blogging etc.