You know how you have a pantry full of items, ketchup, mustard, soup, jello that all have stamps that read "best if used by" and then there's a date printed next....well I feel like I'm walking around with a big stamp on my belly that reads "Best if delivered by x/x/xxxx."
And maybe it would be better if we did have a date that was a deliver by date instead of a "due date." You know my belly button is popping out like those meat thermometers that pop out of your Thanksgiving turkey when its done...does that mean I'm done?
Considering, none of my clothes fit comfortably and/or cover all of me, including my maternity collection, walking, sleeping, sitting and standing are monumental events; getting dressed requires assistance, these all seem like indications that its time to deliver this baby and give me my body back.
Of course this is my second child and I now know that you don't actually get your body back, not the original, no you get the "rental car version" you know the kind that might look like the original in some ways but has a lot more miles on it and probably experienced some extremes during the rental.
Currently, I feel like my body has been taken over by a body snatcher. We go to the doctor today and due to the size of the baby he's planning on inducing in a few days, because "its best if I'm delivered by...."
So what am I feeling? Relief, exhaustion, fear, panic, excitement, denial and everything in between. I would have though that with this being our second child the emotions wouldn't be as intense, the fear of delivery would be less and we'd feel more prepared, but there are times when I feel less prepared. And these emotions hit you like a hurricane, they slam into you and then they swirl around and continue to rain like the aftermath of the storm.
We are blessed. We are so lucky to have a healthy toddler and in the next three days we'll have a baby. Plus, we're lucky enough to be blessed with a boy and a girl, the best of both worlds.
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