It's not easy being green or preggo and for some people like me, they are one in the same on most days. And while this pregnancy has been a bigger challenge than my first, I'm so very grateful that we are expecting our second child. There are so many things and reasons to be grateful for, but there are also the side effects and complications that plague me which just come with my body handling pregnancy.
We're thankful God blessed us with another child without having to go through the draining, complicated and expensive process of fertility treatments. We're blessed that our ultrasounds and doctor's appointments have been full of good news. Both of us are ecstatic that in August we will have a family of four, with a son and a daughter or family of 6 as my hubby likes to say because he counts our dogs too. I'm grateful that I'm not confined to a bed or having certain restrictions to follow.
However, being preggo puts a tremendous strain on my body. I'm unable to work a full/part-time job other than being a SAHM Mom to my 18 month old rambunctious toddler. I can't walk for miles or work-out everyday. And while I am exercising my willpower to be more disciplined about what and how much I eat there are days when I crave junk and give in to the cravings. I don't sleep well, have frequent, vivid nightmares and need at least 1 nap per day. Between rampant hormones and vitamin deficiencies I get weak, dizzy, woozy and sometimes very afraid when experiencing these symptoms and prefer not to be alone.
The Braxton Hicks started early and will continue to plague me at various times throughout the remainder of my pregnancy. I have no bladder capacity and know where every public restroom within 10 miles of my house is located. I don't glow, I'm not toned and in shape and being pregnant does not make me beautiful. By the end of the day I'm exhausted, grumpy, hungry and not much fun to be around.
BUT these symptoms are not my fault. Given a choice I'd love to have the energy and ability to work a job while pregnant, to exercise almost every day and stay thin and toned, to clean the house, cook dinner and teach my child to read while eliminating the need to nap, run back and forth to the bathroom and eat frequent small meals. But no one has offered me that choice.
So I'll do the best I can everyday. I'll wake up and hope I have enough energy to care for and entertain my little girl. Chores and tasks will be completed as my time and body allows. And I'll try not to complain too much about the contractions, the nausea, exhaustion, swelling, compulsions, etc.
Here's what I ask of you: please don't blame me for being sick, I didn't order morning sickness and don't enjoy it nor have any control over it
-don't offer me pie, cake and cookies every time you see me and remind me "I'm eating for 2", those pounds have to come back off after the baby and that's not easy
- don't say you weren't meant to have children or "well I guess you shouldn't have any more because you don't do pregnant well", again this is not something I have any control over and those are my decisions not yours
-don't compare me to yourself and how you worked 40 hours a week on your feet even on your due date and were just fine, that just makes me feel like a failure and then I push my body to do more which can lead to problems
I'm writing this because I know I'm not the only one that wants to have the perfect pregnancy but instead feels like they're struggling to get through the days and the stages. We'd all like to have the perfect pregnancy but please don't blame us if we don't but instead support and encourage us to enjoy the good days, rest on the bad and be grateful for the experience.