I dread going to the doctor's office. I don't like going for me but when I have to take one of the kids because they're sick, well it's like a field trip. If one child is sick and the other is well then by the time we're home they're probably both sick with different illnesses and if they're both sick and I'm alone with them then we're probably creating our own side show.
Today it was me vs. them. I was wrestling and trying to corral my 2.5 year old and almost 1 year old while answering loads of questions for both the nurse and the doctor. But before we were called back a lady with her child and another lady exited, calmly, orderly and without a trail of toys, pacifiers or sippy cups in her wake. I assume it was the child's grandmother that accompanied them and was helping carry the diaper bag and loading and unloading.
Its times like that when I'm hit with a wall of emotions, missing my Mom, wishing we had family that lived nearby and could help, jealousy and then shame because I'm jealous.
I'm tough, lots of people over the years have called me a "survivor" but there are some days when you just don't want to be tough. Some days I want to be weak and have help, today is one of those days.