I Just Won 27 Swag Bucks on www.swagbucks.com

I Just Won 27 Swag Bucks on www.swagbucks.com

I'm a Mess

This week has been hard, difficult, long .....you get the picture. Wednesday night I went out with a few friends and had a drink and some much needed girl time and I thought the distraction would make things better but sometimes you just can't outrun what's bothering you.

I've tried to focus on the positive, I have two great, healthy children and we have a roof over our heads. But even when thinking about the good things there's a dark cloud that follows me and makes it difficult to enjoy the sunshine.

I'm so fortunate to have a good support system of friends in place. But at the same time, right now, I just want my Mom. I know that I could tell Mom all of my problems and she wouldn't judge me or berate me for a bad decision, she wouldn't offer a solution every 5 minutes but she's just listen. And when she did offer advice it would seem as if it were my own idea.

Why am I falling to pieces this week? Its been 5 years since Mom passed away. Why is the pain still so raw?

There are people in Alabama that have lost everything and literally had the rug pulled out from under them. I have friends experiencing hardships worse than my own. I'm healthy and independent so why do I feel so sad and hopeless right now?

If I could just have one more conversation with Mom, how would it go? What would I say? What would she say? There are so many things I wish I'd done differently. I think if I could talk to Mom I'd tell her that I'm so glad I changed my mind and have children of my own. And yes there are so many things I just didn't understand but do now that I'm a parent. I'd say thank you for all the sacrifices you made for us because I know there were countless sacrifices. Thank you for showing me that love is unconditional.

But more than the thanks, more than the apologies I just want to have a normal conversation with my Mom. What do I do when McKenzie has a rash? Why doesn't she eat macaroni and cheese and what should I feed her for lunch? What was my bedtime at this age? Should she go to preschool? I want to go shopping with my Mom and have lunch. I want her to come over and read the kids the same stories she read me as a child.

I love you Mom and I miss you.

Running in Circles

Wow, for over a month now I feel like we've been running in circles! December was a month that was jam packed with challenges, activities, sickness and almost anything else you can imagine. Most days I felt like I was on a treadmill at the highest incline and there was no emergency stop button, oddly enough I even had the image that I was the hamster on the wheel going round and round with no hope of getting off the wheel.

What happened? Where do I begin? The first weekend in December we were at a birthday party, correction, two toddler birthday parties back to back on a Saturday and then we raced home to watch a football game...so we were busy, so what, right? Well that was the beginning of our month of illness.

The day after the birthday party I had chills, fever, diarrhea and nausea. So I quarantined myself to our bedroom, put my hubby in charge of the kids and drank lots of fluids. I thought that would be enough to keep everyone else well and I would recover quickly. Two days later I was better but our daughter was sick. Another 24 hours and our son now had the stomach bug. By the time the kids were well I had caught it again, aghhhh!

That unfortunate episode which helped me lose 4 pounds in 2 weeks also helped me regain those 4 plus 2 more. Then MC got sick with croup which was followed by her first ear infection. Let me just warn you right now, 2 year olds and steroids don't mix well, at all. I'm not kidding! Then MC was well but then HP, our 4 month old, got croup and just to make things more interesting he also got an ear infection.

We spent Christmas Eve visiting our neighbors in shifts while one of us stayed home with the sick kids. Unfortunately, we had to spend New Year's Eve in shifts too. Then my brother came into town for a visit and his first introduction to our 4 month old. But as luck would have it he and his fiance' became sick too.

At times, I was thinking we should return all of our Christmas gifts and use the funds to build a bubble. But now its January and we're currently all well and as time allows I'm hoping to tell you about our nightmare experience with the Christmas tree infestation, how we had Christmas on a shoestring budget and how much I'm enjoying our new toy the Xbox 360 with Kinect.

The Best Gift I Ever Gave

SWAGG is a free mobile app (download here) that lets you shop smarter using your mobile phone. Buy, send or swap SWAGG GIFTS and organize your old school plastic gift cards.

For every download of the app between now and Dec. 31, 2010, SWAGG will donate $1 to Stand Up To Cancer (SU2C) , up to $125,000.

Clever Girls Collective and SWAGG are sending a pair of movie fans to the Sundance Film Festival! Download the SWAGG app and then visit the Ultimate SWAGG Getaway Sweepstakes site to enter to win a trip for two to the Sundance Film Festival. Entry deadline is January 3, 2011, 11:59pm, PST.

I LOVE gift giving and it doesn’t matter the reason or occasion for the present.

I love buying and giving gifts for birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas and especially “no reason” gifts. My Mom was one of the best at buying and giving gifts and she taught us by example that some of the best gifts to give and receive are those given for no reason. She also taught us that it’s not the price of the gift but the time, effort and thought that goes into the present that matters most.

Christmas is one of my favorite times of the year because of the “journey.” I love shopping for the perfect gifts for my husband, my brother and now my children. So much thought goes into every gift big or small including the stocking stuffers. I spend time researching the gifts, browsing catalogs, window shopping, online shopping and driving all over to find the best presents. And while I dread wrapping the gifts I look forward to seeing the look on the person’s face when they open their gift.

This year money is tight for my family and instead of a mountain of gifts spilling out from the under the tree, there will only be a few gifts some of them more of a necessity like clothing or shoes than fancy toys or gadgets. But I’m excited to see my two year old’s excitement on Christmas and I know she’ll enjoy unwrapping her presents. And thanks to my parents I know that the best gifts are those that can’t be wrapped because the best gifts for a child or anyone else are the gifts of time and love.

I know this because the best gift I ever gave anyone wasn’t a toy or a gadget and it wasn’t wrapped in shiny paper. When I was a child we would drive downtown to church every Sunday morning and on our drive we always passed an old man on a park bench huddled up in a worn out coat.

One Sunday it was incredibly cold outside and as we drove past I told Mom and Dad I was worried about the man freezing. So we drove to Bojangles, a chicken restaurant and bought a biscuit and large steaming cup of coffee and then drove back to the bench and gave it to the gentleman.

I can’t really describe the feeling I experienced. There wasn’t any joy in shopping, no shiny paper or fancy bows, no anticipation of having found the perfect gift and waiting for the person to open their present but instead there was the look of surprise and appreciation that I haven’t really seen anyone express before or after that experience.

This gentleman wasn’t on the corner begging for money for food, he wasn’t seeking sympathy or expecting anything for free but he was truly thankful. After that Sunday it became a weekly tradition for us, every Sunday on our way to church we’d go by and get a sausage biscuit and coffee and drop it off to the gentleman on the bench. And every time he looked shocked and was so thankful.

Now I’m looking forward to this Christmas and spending Christmas day with my two children, my brother and his fiancé’ and my husband. I’m excited to get the gifts wrapped and under the tree and to assemble our daughter’s gift on Christmas Eve. But

I know that the best gifts we can ever give our children are those of time and love and hopefully we can teach them that the best gift they’ll ever give is to help someone less fortunate or someone in need as my parents gave us.

SWAGG has partnered with non-profit Stand Up To Cancer (SU2C). For every download of the app between now and Dec. 31, 2010, SWAGG will donate $1 to SU2C up to $125,000. Awesome, right?! Visit the SU2C site for more info http://www.standup2cancer.org/

More info about Stand Up To Cancer (SU2C)
http://www.standup2cancer.org/

Learn more about the coolest new app that revolutionizes the whole shopping, gifting, and gift card-organizing experience and Download the SWAGG app to your iPhone or Droid. I was selected for this sponsorship by Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity.

The Quinny Zapp

Here we go again, this time I'm trying to win a Quinny Zapp! I'm a stroller addict, I know I have a problem. But anything that makes my life easier.... This stroller is so cool its modern, sleek and lighweight.

Thank you The Bragging Mommy for this awesome giveaway!

Check it out here: The Bragging Mommy

X-Box 360 Kinect

What do you want this Christmas? Is there one item you just can't live without? For me that would be the X-Box 360 Kinect system. I'm dying to win one because we can't afford to buy one and this would make an awesome surprise for my husband and a nice treat for me! And if I don't win it then we won't have one because like most of America, its just not in the budget!

I entered to win here at: The Mom Buzz Check out this hilarious yet gross video ">

So I'm crossing my fingers, my toes and hoping I get lucky!

HearthSong Cottage Playhouse on Girl Gone Mom

Well the holiday madness has arrived and so I'm spending my free time, what little free time I have entering blog giveaways and trying to win some cool prizes for Christmas presents for our kids.

One of the giveaways I've entered is the HearthSong Cottage Playhouse on Girl Gone Mom, you can enter here: Holiday Gift Guide: HearthSong Cottage Playhouse ARV $80 {Review & Giveaway}


I can only imagine the fun we could have with MC playing in this awesome playhouse!