A Pat on the Back

Sometimes there are moments when you think I must be doing something right, give yourself a pat on the back.

And lately the kids have been doing things that make me feel I earned a pat on the back.

As a Mom there are certain personality traits I hope my children will possess, I'd like them to be affectionate, compassionate, sympathetic, funny, honest and well-rounded individuals. And so much more. So the other day when my little girl was carrying her monkey around the house and I heard her say: "Why are you scared monkey? It's okay I've got you." I smiled and thought I must be doing something right.

When we go shopping together and its just us girls, MC often asks if we can get something for HP, now its usually a toy that she wants but not always, still I love that's she's thoughtful and wants him to get him something. I must be doing something right.

Sometimes when HP wakes up in the morning or from his nap he'll start crying, MC will say "Mommy I need to go check on Hunter, he's crying."

Yesterday on our way home from running errands, HP was hungry and beginning to fuss a little and without prompting MC says "It's okay Hunter, we're almost home." That's the first time I've heard her say that, previously she would make faces and noises to try and make him laugh.

Later as she was playing in her room, I heard her say " Amen. Mommy loves you, Daddy loves you....etc." (Our nightly bedtime ritual) Then she closed the door and said monkey's tired so I tucked him in. Awww....

When I was tucking her in last night she requested that I lay down with her so I climbed into bed. After a good 20 minutes it was obvious she was wired and not going to sleep, unless she thought I was asleep. So I closed my eyes...about 10 minutes later she lifted my arm and gave me her monkey, five minutes after that she patted me on the arm and then several minutes later she took my hand and rubbed her fingers back and forth as if she were trying to soothe me. And I thought what a sweet little girl we have, must be doing something right.

Famous people leave legacies, there are sometimes statues made to remind us of their significance in history, maybe they write a book of memoirs or maybe they're a musician that's impacted multiple generations with their music, many of us make grand plans to try and make the world a better place, thinking it has to be something big to make a difference. And maybe it does, I don't know. In the past when I was younger I used to dream big, Olympic swimmer, best selling author, successful sports journalist. I never once dreamed of being a Mom or even thinking about the importance of that role.

But now when I see my kids sharing without being encouraged to share, giving hugs or kisses on their own initiative, thinking of someone else when shopping, etc. If I can have a positive impact on my children and be a strong role model then I couldn't ask for a better legacy.

Two Kids, 1 Mom and a field trip to the Doctor

I dread going to the doctor's office. I don't like going for me but when I have to take one of the kids because they're sick, well it's like a field trip. If one child is sick and the other is well then by the time we're home they're probably both sick with different illnesses and if they're both sick and I'm alone with them then we're probably creating our own side show.

Today it was me vs. them. I was wrestling and trying to corral my 2.5 year old and almost 1 year old while answering loads of questions for both the nurse and the doctor. But before we were called back a lady with her child and another lady exited, calmly, orderly and without a trail of toys, pacifiers or sippy cups in her wake. I assume it was the child's grandmother that accompanied them and was helping carry the diaper bag and loading and unloading.

Its times like that when I'm hit with a wall of emotions, missing my Mom, wishing we had family that lived nearby and could help, jealousy and then shame because I'm jealous.

I'm tough, lots of people over the years have called me a "survivor" but there are some days when you just don't want to be tough. Some days I want to be weak and have help, today is one of those days.

Fun with Step 2

One of things we're lacking at our house are good, quality outdoor toys. I love Step 2 and Little Tikes but we really need to clean out the yard and make room. But we could use our garage and that way the kids would be in the shade. I'm hoping to win the Step 2 Sand & Water Fun Farm so the kids will have something to play with. Check it out here : A Mom's Balancing Act or Step 2.

Little Tikes Rocks!

I'm entering blog contests again as I try to learn to juggle the kids and time for reading my favorite blogs. Today I'm entering to win a Little Tikes Cozy Truck from A Mom's Balancing Act.

Be sure to head over to her blog for your chance to win. This would make an awesome birthday gift for my 2 year old monkey.

Groundhog Day

Do you ever feel like every day is Groundhog Day? You know the Bill Murray movie. where every day was the same until he got it right?

I'm beginning to feel like I live Groundhog Day everyday. I wake up, get the kids, change them, feed them, starts doing laundry, then clean up the mess made from eating breakfast, play with them, break up fights, check FB for adult conversation, more laundry, more dishes (didn't I just wash those?), time to fix lunch, play dates, naps, and repeat.

We do a wide range of activities from day to day, sometimes play dates with friends, shopping for groceries or running errands, swimming, etc. but almost every day feels like the day before. The dishes and laundry are NEVER completely done and the house always needs to be picked up. There are always diapers needing to be changed and kids that want to eat.

Does anyone else ever feel like they're living the same day over and over again?

Boys vs. Girls

Every time I change HP's diaper I think about how different boys are from girls, and no I'm not talking about anatomy.

Our little girl, monkey butt, would lay still and stare at her hutch while we changed her diaper, no fighting the process, wiggling etc. But Mr. Moose aka HP, well changing him is like wrestling an octopus or an alligator (words spoken by sitters and friends) but yet so on point.

Monkey butt could play for hours and entertain herself with little encouragement or interaction. Mr. Moose is curious and into everything, after a little exploring he either wants my undivided attention or he wants to be held.

I'm not complaining, I love my kids and I love that they're different. And I think a lot of their differences have nothing to do with gender but rather they're two individuals displaying their traits and personality. So sometimes I wince when someone says HP is all boy or he's just acting like a boy. Okay...so if MC does the same thing she's acting like a boy?

Now at 10 months HP is crawling, cruisin' and climbing and I can tell I have two active children that will be getting into a LOT of trouble. I'm pretty sure HP will be walking any day now and running as soon after that as possible. YIKES!

As I'm writing this, I looked to see what the Moose was up to and he'd crawled on top of his Leap Frog music table and was between it and his activity cube!

Should I Feel Guilty?

We haven't taken a family vacation in 2.5 years. Well, unless you count our short weekend trip to San Antonio with the kids. (I don't really count a three hour drive and two nights in a hotel as a vacation) And we haven't had a vacation without the kids in four years.

As a matter of fact we haven't been away from one or both of our kids for 24 hours, EVER! When I was in the hospital delivering HP, we were away from MC but I wouldn't count being in labor with our second child as being kid free.

So I want a vacation, but more importantly I NEED a vacation. And at this point it could be something as just two nights in a hotel without the kids. Even 24 hours of being free of responsibility of anyone but myself would be a nice break. But should I feel guilty for feeling this way?

I love my children more than anything, I do but I also feel like a vacation or small break from them would re-energize me and they would benefit from that too. Sometimes I feel like we're the only ones that haven't had a break or a vacation. Most of my friends have parents that take their kids for date nights or for weekends here and there while they take a quick trip, we aren't that fortunate.

Unfortunately, my husband's father has passed and his mother is physically unable to watch the kids. My mother is deceased and well we wouldn't even consider leaving the kids with my father even if he offered and my brother is in medical school and over one thousand miles away. So the only way we'll even get to take a quick trip is to pay someone to watch the kids, and no not just any someone but someone we really trust so we can enjoy the break.

Is it alright to want a break and some alone time with my hubby? Can we realistically go away for a weekend and enjoy ourselves without feeling guilty or worrying the entire trip? Are we the only ones that have this issue?

My husband has promised me a trip away sometime this summer and I really hope we're able to make it happen.